Stuff in Paris- Ranked

10. cool street. however, no cats at all. false advertising. depressing and disappointing

9. very impressive, very pretty. unnecessarily tall. Humans are not supposed to be that high up, the sky is the realm of sky rats and if we anger the sky rats they will reign down destruction, plagues, and poop. dangerously ambitious.

8. does not seem like it would keep anything very cold. disappointingly opaque. very shiny though

7. looks like someone used her face as an eraser. boobs still surprisingly impressive, she is stacked and has definitely never missed a work out. terrifying but alluring nonetheless

6. Was already a lil drunk from absinthe and an appletini but definitely recommend. does seem to attract weird men who won’t leave you alone. bonus points for bridge.

5. strong, sturdy, and rock hard. if brick astley had a cool, attractive older brother, it would be this bridge. always pays for dinner, always tells you that you look pretty. will definitely never flake on you.

4. an ancient greek philosopher (probably aristotle) once said that male nipples were purely for aesthetic purposes. he was inspired by this bush.

3. *slaps top* this baby can hold a whole lot of ego. beautiful craftsmanship, however, only one drawer.

2. literally simone de beauvoir, if you’ve never seen her before, look no further, this is she. received this picture while in Paris so it counts. good amount of fluff. elegant. jet setting. gorgeous. petite and perfect kitten. perhaps the best thing to ever grace the earth.

Lenna laughs in the face of your mortal heroes. your buildings are sepulchers and tombs holding requiems to a dying god. material comforts are all you have. the only true pleasure in your life lays in the ecstasy of a brief indulgence; your life is but a minuscule scratch on a grain in the desert of time.