During my short stay in Paris, I’ve made a wide variety of blog posts. Everything from amateur journalism that went nowhere to anti-capitalist sentiment have all been discussed, with a shocking lack of distinction between its and it’s. This may be my most bold move yet. There seems to be an obsession with orange juice in this city. I’m going to tackle the orange question that has plagued me since I came here: which orange drink goes best with rum?

My methodology is simple. Using the only cup in my room that I got from the World Cup drink stand, I will pour a generous amount of rum, before filling the rest with a certain orange drink. After finishing it, I will right my thoughts down before rinsing my cup and repeating the task. And yes, I am drinking plenty of water.

Tropican Orange Jus: Sans Pulpe

My original plan was to get freshly pressed orange juice that’s sold at several places nearby, but I got lazy when the closest one’s machine wasn’t working. The juice pairs well with the rum, masking the worst of it’s harsh flavor. However, the resulting taste doesn’t really go anywhere and just taste like crappy orange juice.

Oasis

I’ve previously enjoyed this sweet beverage. It seems to have a level of sugar closer to that in American drinks, like Sunny-D. It’s more of a tropical citrus than a strictly orange drink, but I included it because the can is orange. The drink goes down pretty well, with only a hint of the rum being tasted. You still get that burning feeling in your eyes when you tilt the cup, but I’m pretty sure that’s unavoidable. Overall, this one’s pretty enjoyable.

Orangina

Before I pour this drink, I have to ask why? Why does one need pulp in a carbonated drink? I am a very empathetic person, and I can put myself in the mind of somebody who wants pulp in their orange juice. It’s a beverage that is often sold on the idea of freshness and raw taste, why not leave some pulp in. It’s disgusting, but I can at least understand it. But Orangina is a carbonated drink that only contains 12% citrus juice, yet contains 2% orange pulp. Imagine if somebody served you 14% pulp orange juice. I dare anyone to find me somebody who would enjoy that. This leads me to the conclusion that they added pulp to this drink during the manufacturing. I’m starting to question the sanity of the French public, that they have encouraged this practice.

As I expected this is vile. It does little to mask the rum’s stench, while also delivering unto me a putrid taste of vile citrus flavor. Ironically, these two tastes pair perfectly, if perfection is considered to be my complete dissatisfaction.

(It is at this point I am truly feeling the effects of the alcohol. It’s not fair to hold my accountable for any writing errors made from this point forward.)

I wish I hadn’t poured this much, I never waste alcohol once it’s been poured. I’m upset at the French people for letting this drink become so popular.

Fanta

I’ve always found Fanta to be a very underwhelming drink when I’ve had it in the US. It’s extremely boring, lacking any sort of serious citrus sour taste. Hopefully the French do it differently.

The can let out a burst of air when I opened it. Exciting stuff, folks. This will be the most carbonated of the bunch.

Turns out it tastes just like American Fanta. The drink either hides the rum better than any before, or I’m too tip

sy to taste it. Either way, this drink is extremely boring.

Ranking

1. Oasis

2. Tropicana

3. Fanta

4. Orangina